I want to be Popular
by Burst-in-Flames Tiger
Summary: Koharu Minami was envious of Tomoko Kuroki. Rated T for Violence and Bullying.
1. Rage

There was a lot of tension inside class 3-5. The air felt heavy, and everyone inside the classroom focused his or her eyes on something. They did not know where to look but at the back of the class, where two girls were trying to wrestle each other into the ground. The girl with light-brown hair was furiously trying to claw the flesh out of the smaller, black-haired girl. Accompanying the struggle were two distinct screams that stunned the onlookers, with one being a loud and ferocious roar and the other a shriek of helplessness that was close to deafening. In-between the ferocity of that situation was screeched sentences that were borderline incorrigible to some people, and it was the signal for everyone to interfere before things went out of hand.

"Get off of me!" Screamed and shouted the short girl. Tomoko Kuroki was doing her best to preserve the eye that was still inside her left eye socket, though bleeding by the eyelids. "What the hell are you doing you bitch? Somebody, help me!"

Tomoko looked like a bloody mess. Her left cheek was red from bruises. The rest of her face was full of scratches and a few of them drew out blood that traced down her face. A line of blood flew out of her mouth as she struggled. With each push from the brown-haired girl on top of her, they splattered all over their clean uniform. Tomoko's voice was shaky, almost to the point of sounding delirious. She was scared out of her wits, and her desperation to break away from her assailant's grasp was almost futile. She was clearly overpowered, pinned to the ground, and was protecting herself from further harm through sheer determination. She was truly in pain and utterly confused.

Koharu Minami was not having it. She did not want to leave without at least landing another punch on Tomoko's other cheek. Her breathing was irregular, hyperventilating, and her eyes were bloodshot as the adrenaline in her head took over. Throughout her one-sided massacre against Tomoko that had not lasted for three minutes, she had done so many damage to Tomoko. Koharu was like a rampaging beast, a feral animal consumed by anger bent on making Tomoko suffer as hard as she should.

That girl was getting too cocky.

That girl was turning too arrogant.

That girl was starting to piss her off.

"Tomoko Kuroki!" shouted Koharu repeatedly like a demented mantra as she tried to put her hands on Kuroki's neck. "I'm going to fucking kill you, you bitch!"

"What the fuck did I do to you?" Using her remaining strength, she pulled back her right feet up to her stomach and kicked Koharu away from her. She could feel her kick connecting, but it was shallow to inflict any real damage on her. As soon as she realized that, she got up and ran circles around the classroom to flee from the front door. She thought about dashing straight for the back door, but she did not want Koharu to suddenly grab her legs and smack her into the ground again. She was in full self-preservation thoughts as she stumbled her way, hitting against many of her friend's chair and desk along the way, toward her escape. She turned around as she struggled to walk with her sprained leg and screamed as she saw Koharu standing up before running at her in full speed. Tomoko could not help feeling in danger, as many of her senses told her to run as quickly as she could. "Get away from me!"

"Get back here you creepy girl!" Now, many of their classmates had shielded Tomoko from Koharu. It was clear as day who the rest of the class stopped before Tomoko ended up with further injuries. Yet, even with the entire classroom trying to stop Koharu, she would not stop. She shook her arms, elbowing her peer's face or punching their stomach before dashing straight at Tomoko when she found a gap in their wall. The flames of hatred for Kuroki in her eyes were undying even after what felt like an hour had passed. If anything, as if someone poured them with gasoline, they grew bigger, darker, and welling inside it the uncontrollable release of rage that welled up inside Koharu's heart. "I'm so done with your freaking bullshit!"

"Stop it, please!" Tomoko was sobbing clear tears out of one eye and a blood-mixed one out of the other. Her body was hurting all over and exiting her classroom made her entire body wince in strained muscles and swelled injuries. Her mind was replaying repeatedly the thoughts that none of this was real, that all of this was a nightmare, but the pain she felt right now was all truth. Her body could not lie that she was severely hurting. "I just want you to stop, please!"

"Too late for that you stupid bitch," Koharu screamed before jumping on a classmate's chair and leapt over their desk toward Tomoko, who was now trying her best to open the front sliding door. "Once I'm done with you, I'm finally going to be popular again! Then I can hang around with my friends like we used to do!"

Tomoko slammed the sliding door to the side open with desperation and quickly jumped out of the classroom all the while her classmates were trying their best to hold Koharu in her place. Afterward, she stood up before limping herself to the nurses office. Looking back at Koharu, she saw her movement becoming erratic as she howled and groaned while struggling to break free from the poor attempt of hold by her classmates. The feeling had not sunk in yet, but seeing Koharu's face of insanity was something that will forever haunt Tomoko.

As she lost consciousness, the last thing she thought about was how today was supposed to be a perfect day. Maybe this was it for her. In her next life, if God was not so cruel on her the next time, she wished to experience what it was like to be popular.

* * *

_**Disclaimer: The author does not own WataMote or its characters**_

_**Author's Note: This is not a Koharu Minami bashing fic.**_


	2. Guilt

Koharu had found herself in a situation she was unfamiliar with. She had snapped on someone, to the point of assault, when she had never thought of violence as an answer before. She loved when people fought, but the feeling she received after everything was settled and over with was nothing more than a lump of pure bile that was stuck on her throat. The constant barrage of scolding she had received from the principal himself, alongside her homeroom teacher, while alone in a big room that seemed to stretch forever was torturous.

Nothing came from her mouth when she wanted to speak, not even a squeak, she was constantly trying her best not to explode in a burst of wails. Tears and snots trickled endlessly down her cheeks, as if they were an unending waterfall. Her hands were shaking, with every loud outburst from the teachers before her constantly making her jump.

She wanted everything to stop.

Had she known what awaited her were a wave of scolding and two weeks of suspension, she would never hurt Kuroki.

However, it was too late, and comeuppance was the only one waiting for her.

So the stream of tears and incoherent sobs continued as the sky outside turned yellow, then orange, then black. Until her parents entered the room, slapped her tear-stained cheeks, and forced her to bow furiously toward the teacher, her surface expression of guilt finally stopped. Then it turned into a mountain of shame that weighed on her shoulders.

The walk to her family car, the ride to her family home, and the journey to her bed was equally awful; her parents had constantly scolded, berated, and criticized her current situation. She was too old to get into fights, considering how critical this point of her life was to her. There were little outbursts from Koharu herself, as she had known how her parents would react if she were to rebel at this point. Everything they launched at her she took it full force, though the pain never let off even when she tried to shrug it off.

Her parents were angry at her, that much she knew. However, the one she was angry with, Tomoko Kuroki, wasn't clear of any fault either. She had thought about how demented her dialogue was as she simmered inside the bathroom, fully supervised by her mother outside of the glass sliding door. She had remembered how her word stung her so fervently, and snapped her so vividly, as if it was a gunshot that pierced her heart and broke it into pieces. It hurted more than anything people had ever thrown at her, nor had it come close to what insults she had ever hurled throughout her life..

"I thought you have friends, Minami-san."

Yet

Koharu wondered.

What did it mean to be friends? What constituted as friends? When did she make friends? Why did she look friendless? Where did her friends go? How did she make friends anyway?

As the glass sliding door was knocked by a subtly kinder voice who told her to come out of the bath, her mind had wondered somewhere else. The thought of Kuroki's face, bloodied and battered, came to her mind. A single tear trickled from the tears that welled inside her eyes and fell inside the bathtub.

…

Her feelings turned complex, everything blurred into abstraction. She did not know what to do, say, feel, or think. Finally outside the bathroom, her mother gave her a towel and a set of clothes on top of the drawer. Her father wanted to talk to her, to discuss what happened at school, she said.

At that moment, Koharu Minami realized something. As she was about to have an eye-to-eye discussion with her father, she had realized something crucial. This would be the turning point of her life, and there was no turning back. Yet, deep down inside her heart, she knew she had it coming for her.


	3. Anguish

Koharu was sprawled on the floor when her mother rolled her blanket over. It was morning, early morning, and it was one of the few times she had scarcely seen while sober. Her mother was dressed in her work clothes, contrasting her daughter who was still in a messy and sweaty pajama.

Wake up, said Koharu's mother. She followed by talking about a visit, then about showering. Koharu did not catch the details, but it was urgent. Quickly, she took a shower downstairs, rinsed her hair with shampoo, peppered herself with cosmetics, and donned the clothes her mother had prepared for her.

Koharu's father had been waiting for Koharu outside their home. His back was against a vehicle as he quietly smoked a cigar to warm himself up. Noticing his wife and daughter, he placed the cigar onto the asphalt and ground it with the heel of his leather shoe. Without missing a beat, he tossed the visible remains of the cigarette into the trash bin.

Shortly after, the group of three rode before sunrise toward a street unfamiliar. The highway they rode through was alien to Koharu. They were moving to the town's center, an area of commercial and institutions, along its main road. Koharu was not curious enough to look around, she was half asleep and half bored.

However, when the car stopped at a driveway for the ICU, Koharu was wide awake.

Her mother took her time to punt Koharu out of the car's seat, slowly bracing herself for the storm as they waited for Koharu's father to come back from parking. She gazed at Koharu with saddened eyes, with pity mixed into them. Not a moment too soon, her father ran toward them in brisk pace, unfittingly fit for a man with a slightly rotund figure.

The three of them checked in on the ICU, before they were given a mention of a room and a number. After the three thanked the receptionist, they went straight upstairs and into one of the wards numbered as such. The nameplate caught Koharu's attention, for it had the Kuroki's name on it.

Entering the room, the three of them were greeted to four figures, three of them surrounding one that was sprawled on a soft hospital bed. All of them were not shocked of their arrival, but they were not hospitable to them either. There were sharp glares reserved for the Minamis that were constantly whittling them mentally.

A boy stood from his seat and approached the three. He was tall, with a striking semblance of Kuroki's eyes. Those eyes were directed at them like hawks, especially directed toward Koharu's own. His voice was gruff, slightly angered, and with a demanding tone.

"What do you want?"

"We're here to visit a girl my daughter assaulted," came a voice from beside Minami. "I, as her father, am very sorry for the action of my daughter."

"That so?" The boy turned around and pointed his thumb at a vacant set of sofas. Yet, his voice did not change. "Take a seat."

As the Minami family was walking toward the sofa, the boy held Koharu by the shoulder. Koharu felt an unbelievable amount of force which pushed against her shoulder and stopped her in her tracks. The boy took a long look at Koharu, who was now scared and trembling, before he raised his hand above him so quickly Koharu had lost the ability to react.

"Tomoki!"

The sudden voice stopped the boy, as it belonged to her mother. If it were anyone else, he would have slammed Koharu against the wall. Quietly, he placed his thoughts in order before moving past Koharu and out of the hospital room.

"Sorry," said the boy as he closed the door. It was loud enough for the Minami family to overhear.

"Please forgive my son," the same woman who yelled bowed at the Minami family. "He has strong attachments with his sister, you see. I hope you can understand his point of view."

Koharu's father sighed, but he nodded nonetheless, as he commented off-handedly about how Koharu would have deserved that one hit to the face. Because his daughter lacked discipline, and that was his rationale.

Kuroki's mother, not missing a beat, invited Koharu closer to her. As she instructed, Koharu sat beside her and their eyes were locked. Her eyes had no anger in them, only sadness, and Koharu felt unnerved to stare at them.

"Let me hear your side of the story, Koharu."

Kuroki's mother placed her hands on Koharu's palms. As she rubbed Koharu's palms, she was glad, for this child knew of guilt. Setting her mind at ease she smiled, before continuing to ask Koharu.

"Would you tell me, please?"

Koharu could not resist the tears forming in her eyes, though she hesitated. How could she not when she was staring at a very kind and motherly face? Slowly, words began to form inside her mouth, and a single sentence escaped from under her breath.

"I'm sorry."

"I understand," Koharu felt two hands pressing against her shoulders. It was unlike Tomoki's arms, for Kuroki's mother's hands felt gentle. "Just say it slowly, okay?"

"Okay."

The words that spilled from Koharu's mouth felt genuine, though there were still hints of immaturity inside them. Kuroki's mother was understanding, silently listening to Koharu as she muttered about the situation surrounding her assault. It was still a silly, teenage drama story, but hearing it from Koharu's mouth gave reassurance to Kuroki's mother. She knew Koharu better, though not fully, but knew her well enough to form her own opinion about her.

"Thank you for that, Koharu." Kuroki's mother stood up and went closer to Koharu, before wrapping her arms and hugging Koharu. "Please tell that to Tomoko later on, okay? When she finally woke up. Here, take a closer look."

Koharu nodded, though she had reserved notions in looking at Tomoko. She had avoided looking at her since she entered the hospital, and only caught a look of her at a glance. If she saw her now, she was scared it would burden her with too much guilt. However, once her mother gave the go ahead, she finally looked at the girl who was resting on the hospital bed.

She was sleeping, with stable breathing, resting with a nasogastric tube inside her nose and an eyepatch covering her eye. She was full of scratches and bruises, from her face to her arms and down to each of her hands. Everything else Koharu could not see was either under her garment, or covered in bandages. It dawned onto her how inhumane her acts were as her thoughts returned to the thoughts of that one phrase Tomoko had muttered before. Whatever justification Koharu had had, no matter what conviction she had believed before, and her belief of a moral high-ground she had imagined before had disappeared in an instant.

As she suddenly clutched onto Tomoko's hand, she felt a weak pulse from it. When she wrapped her fingers to Tomoko's hand, she felt an outburst of saline rolling down her chin and staining the bedsheet. She raised Tomoko's hand close to her face, as she clutched it as gently as she could, and begged for her forgiveness as she muttered the same sentence over and over again as if it was a mantra.

"I'm sorry," cried Koharu. "I'm so, so sorry, Tomoko. Please forgive me."


End file.
